Pothole People And How To Avoid Them.
The recent deaths of people close to me are a reminder of how brief our time is. It heightens my desire to discard voluntary pain. Like people who drain me. Instead of backing away from draining people, I want to sprint in the opposite direction.
Business decisions grow barnacles, the world is heavier, less joyful and my speed limit lowers when these human potholes appear. You either swerve or hit them directly. Either way, it’s not smooth sailing. I want smooth sailing. Everyone does. Not the cringe of certain caller IDs, not the “not again” feeling, not the “I wish…” mind talk.
Who are these pothole people and how does their stock plummet into the basement?
It’s the guy threatening my dealer with legal action if his $32 parts aren’t delivered by Friday.
It’s the gal who weaponizes her self-inflicted wounds making them your emergency.
It’s the low in spirit, giving up when business temps rise.
It’s the haughty, hammering your phone when they need you, but ghost you when you need them.
It’s the narcissist, with all the answers and none of the right questions.
It’s the pompous, what’s in it for me? type wanting the flower’s bloom before the seed is planted.
It’s laughter at misfortune.
It’s kicking me when I’m down.
Thieves of joy, opportunity, and money.
I don’t become angry, I won’t waste the energy. I refile them in a box labeled, “rather not”. It’s misfortune, disguised as good fortune when they’re no longer on my radar. Their stain precedes them going forward.
Controlling what you can, and discarding the rest is the path to peace, prosperity, and progress. When you’re dragged down, focus gets fuzzy. Energy wanes, your jet stalls. The common thread in all of this? It’s when the cranks come first. When their priorities are the only priorities.
The truth is, we’ve all been there. Maybe it’s before we woke up to doing better. Maybe it was 5 minutes ago. When on the receiving end, you choose to either continue down roads riddled with potholes or take a different route. Potholes are distractions, delaying travel and compromising concentration. Different routes are decisions avoiding disruptions. Arriving faster, fresher, less drained.
If ever on the pothole end, dishing destruction, it’s the difference between reacting and responding. Becoming a hammer or a paintbrush. It’s taking a microsecond of time to reflect and reframe. Avoid smashing through life being labeled as “trouble on two legs” by choosing intention over impulse, empathy over ego, and contribution over control. The legacy you leave is shaped not by force, but by the finesse with which you handle friction.
When you paint a picture of mutual benefit everyone wins. Problems get solved, people feel seen, appreciation lubricates relationships, kindness kindles progress.
There’s a big difference between, Give me this now and Can you help me?
Between lending an open hand instead of a fist.
Because making deposits in the bank of goodwill makes future withdrawals possible.
Life is short, and far too precious to spend in the company of energy-draining people. Whether in business or personal life, the choice is ours: endure the potholes or reroute toward smoother travel. By setting boundaries, choosing kindness over control, and replacing ego with empathy, we create momentum, build lasting relationships, and move through life with greater peace and purpose.
A reflection.
In 1998, Oprah Winfrey was already a media titan. The Oprah Winfrey Show dominated daytime TV, and her production company, Harpo, was thriving.
But behind the scenes, things were unraveling. A tight circle of trusted staff had grown complacent. Gossip, ego, and power struggles had started eroding the positive energy Oprah had built her brand on.
In interviews years later, Oprah recalled an “intuitive unrest” during this period. She couldn’t quite pinpoint the problem, but something felt off. The joy was gone. She began dreading meetings. Certain team members became aggressive gatekeepers, more focused on control than collaboration. Even her personal assistant had turned into a source of tension.
One pivotal moment came when Oprah learned that a team member was hiding things from her, key decisions being made without her knowledge. That betrayal, combined with the emotional drain she’d been feeling for months, triggered a complete reassessment.
So she made one of the toughest decisions of her career: she fired her entire leadership team, including people who had been with her for years.
It wasn’t a scandal. It wasn’t loud. It was simply decisive.
Oprah later said in an interview with O, The Oprah Magazine:
“I’ve had to let people go—not because they weren’t doing their jobs, but because the energy they brought into the space was so toxic, it was affecting everything... I want joy in my work. I want peace. I want collaboration. I will not tolerate dysfunction.”
After the shake-up, Oprah rebuilt Harpo Studios with a new leadership team that aligned with her core values—creativity, trust, positivity, and excellence. The result? Her show entered a second golden age, producing some of its most iconic interviews and specials.
Even more, the space she cleared allowed her to think bigger. In 2011, she launched OWN: The Oprah Winfrey Network—a lifelong dream, made possible only because she refused to be dragged down by dysfunctional relationships.
Oprah didn’t wait for things to get worse. She listened to the subtle cues of emotional drain and acted. By removing toxic influences, she reclaimed joy, focus, and creative freedom. She refused to let pothole people slow the journey. When you reroute and protect your energy, you arrive stronger, lighter, and ready to build something greater.